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Accepting My Faith

Hi Prominators (yes, I called you that), It has been a while. And I won’t lie to you guys I have been hesitating to write on my blog cause the only thing that came to mind  was my faith, and belief. The thing is whatever I write, most times is how I feel or what interests me at the moment. Any one who knows me knows that I try my best to remain positive at all times, some times it gets exhausting cause people feel they can walk all over you because you’re an easy going person, they make the mistake of underestimating you.

I know that each and everyone of us have our struggles and pains to handle, and the last thing we need is to be reminded of them. That is why I am very spontaneous with my articles. I feel reading should be a means of getting away from reality, and all of those things that cause grievance and worries, it should be a means of hope. To take us on a journey where we can explore our minds and find out its maximum abilities. If only we knew what the mind is capable of.

 

As we all know I am a Christian (at least I hope you all know that), If you didn’t then now you do, if you notice I try to show that in most of my conclusions with something like “God bless you” and all of that. Honestly, most times I’m not sure if I fit the description,and I wonder, would it be the same thing if I was born in a non-christian home? I am a very big skeptic, I like logic, and everything has to make sense to me, that is why the idea of love confuses me and so many other things. When I was a kid (still kind of a kid), my mum would push me to do lots of church stuff…sing in church (was never really a big fan of the choir department), I would act in plays, I and my siblings would go for evangelism and sometimes I would be called out to handle talk shows in the adult church (that’s why everyone thought I would end up an art student, people still doubt me when I tell them I am studying medicine), that way i had to read my bible a lot so I guess I felt that I am automatically going to heaven, and doing all this automatically made me a good christian.

And I never really got any confrontation about my faith, everyone stayed in their own lane. A lot of things happened when I got in to secondary school and I started to doubt everything. I found it difficult to talk about God in public, especially to people I knew or care about. Everyday would just go by and I would feel the world was against me, that God was against me; first it started with the asthma, then the appendix, sometimes its back pain or joint ache, almost paralyzed ( long story), then insomnia, like that was not enough my eyes decided to join in the fun, so many times I almost died and I felt like God was toying with me or showing me how weak I am. I wasn’t bothered because of everything I was going through, what bothered me was how it affected my parents, unnecessary money was being spent, waste of time ( I mean they both have demanding jobs), and the constant worried look my mum had, most nights she would come into my room when she thought I was asleep and would check up on me, and pray for me, and I wondered if God was ever listening.

The most annoying thing was when people would give their testimonies and talk about how God spoke to them or revealed himself to them, and I am just there in church like what? how? And no matter how many times I asked God for a sign, or some proof, or just a little help to show that he is with me- I got nothing, and I am wondering if there is something wrong with me, cause my mum is in the same house and she says God spoke to her, or he showed her something, and all I do is just feign belief cause its easier to do than ask questions.

I guess where I really got confronted about my faith was after secondary school, when I got into the university. The first few weeks here, almost on a daily basis there was always an argument about Christianity, the funny part was these were all Christians arguing. The only difference was their church and the doctrines they practiced. All I could think of was what would be running through the mind of someone who wasn’t a Christian if they saw this. A few weeks later I read an article on Christianity and came about some Christian you tube Channel, and they were so chill. They didn’t say all theses scary things like how u will be judged, and die, and tell you how much of a sinner you are, and all of that. They gave so much amazing advice and talked about so many things; relationships, how to deal with daily addiction problems, I loved their work and I realized that I had been looking at all of this the wrong way. All these while I had been avoiding God in general, sure I attended church every Sunday and sometimes went for the other meetings, but none of that mattered. The only reason why there is even a church in the first place is because God doesn’t want us to feel alone, he wants us to be part of his family. And honestly, the only truth in this whole religion thing is God, and Jesus, and there unquenchable love for us.

I didn’t figure all of this out in Church, even though all they talk about is God’s love for us, because honestly the church can be really intimidating…and if they do not play their cards right they can end up sending the wrong message and only make you feel even more unworthy, when in God’s eyes we are nothing but perfect. He knows we have flaws, and he is willing to forgive us and accept us if we come to him, he doesn’t need our help in anyway, we actually really need him especially with everything going on. I realized all of this just chilling in my room with ice cream and an awesome christian you tube channel, that gets the message across with the best method ever, sarcasm. And then I watched God’s not Dead (cool movie though), and I guess I needed to see that.

I know this article ended up being copious, and I just hope it helped someone out there, when people ask what my blog is all about, I just want to reach out to people in the best way I can, and I figured I might as well bring God into the picture, and let him be in charge. I know this month is meant to be my top list month but I just needed to say this.

Thanks again for all your support, I hope this was a big help to someone and he/she realizes God’s plans for him/her is just for you to be awesome and  still let him be by your side. Don’t forget to check out my youtube channel. You can check out my Facebook page ‘TEEN Spirit’ and follow me on instagram and twitter on @teenspiritlink (same username). Love you all, have an awesome week.

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